Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Welcome Exhaustion!

Allow me to talk about Exhaustion again.

Hello Exhaustion! Why must we meet again? Things actually improved for a few months and then they are back to that state of being so tired. The weird thing is that you have come back in so many different forms and have manifested yourself in so many different ways. It is getting rather annoying already. Yes, I am annoyed that I have to deal with you again. Before, sleep would be enough for me to say good bye to you for a few hours. Yet now sleep does me no good and I resent that fact. So maybe this is more that just physical Exhaustion.

I met you, Exhaustion, through some people. I had totally forgotten about some person already when I noticed that I had not seen the person on my Facebook news feed. I clicked and clicked until I found out that the person had blocked me. Instead of getting annoyed by the action of the person, I literally laughed out loud. I knew that it was only a short time before the person either deleted me as a friend or blocked me. I was just waiting. Because of what the person did by blocking me, I was reminded again about how tired I was with the person's meddling in my life. Exhaustion, you reminded me that sometimes it is good to get tired of a person and let the person block me from their life. 

So Exhaustion when do you plan on visiting those people who constantly bug me and my family on weekends? Well, my parents do not even think the people are bugging them or messing up our weekends. But I know better than to act like I like those people who seem to have taken over my rest time, my me time and my limited time with my parents. Take for example my plans for yesterday. I had to go to the dentist and really wanted to go to the derma to treat my chicken pox scars. I got to go to the dentist. But the derma? Hell no! I had to rush home and attend to those people. Like seriously, I have to be ugly just because those people need to vent to my parents. Oh please. Exhaustion, please spread your virus to those people and let them be so tired of the issues they constantly have to vent out to my parents.

I keep encountering you, Exhaustion, when I go to college from Monday to Friday. You show up when unreasonable professors dump tons of papers and assignments on the students. You show up when group mates choose to cram, forget their brains and bicker with each other. You show up when one block takes something so seriously and another block does not. You show up when plays have to be done, conceptual papers must be written and t-shirt designs must be submitted on the same day a video must be given in. You show up unannounced when six hour vigils are a must and watching WNCAA games determines whether you get clearance or not. You show up when retreats must not be overlooked and weekends postponed because of too many school related activities to do. 

And I go home every day only to see you at my home. Who invited you in? I guess you are some kind of ghost who creeps in without warning. I long to lay my heavy head on a pillow, but I have to play with children, eat some dinner, cram more school work and chat with friends I refuse to take for granted.  Instead of resting I choose to let you take over my life by watching Newsroom, Switched at Birth, Sherlock and so many more TV shows. I choose to call my friends at odd hours of the day to rant about how miserable I am without my eight hours of sleep. I also choose to take the kids to the park just because I need to air my brain.

So maybe Exhaustion I have actually invited you into my life. I have let you come in to stay because you make me feel like I am busy and needed. You make me realize that for the rest of my life in media production I will be living you out. I will not be meeting you, Exhaustion. I will be you. I will be exhausted. And this Exhaustion I am feeling is nothing compared to being Exhausted in the future. There may be days or even weeks in which sleep will be a word I no longer know. And I will be dependent on coffee for the rest of my life. 

This is strike two! Yes, the second time we meet again, but this time you will stay. And also this is the second family member you have taken. The first person you took was papa. He rarely sleeps at night. And if he does that means he is ill or has jet lag. Papa takes at least one cup of coffee a day. On Sundays when he has to wake up early he takes three. When he is awake at night he spends his time writing and reading and thinking up of new ideas. And that gives me hope that even if he suffers from Exhaustion he is still productive and creative. If Exhaustion and later on being Exhausted is what it takes to spit out amazing ideas, I'm all for it!

Hello Exhaustion, you must be here for good. 

P.S. I also understand that most people have got it worse than me. I should stop complaining.

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