Sunday, October 28, 2012

Packing My Life

The neighbors cannot really sing in tune. And they're drunk.

Yesterday, mom said that in about three weeks we're moving out. Might as well pack.
So basically, my things are still in boxes 'cause I never unpacked my stuff which was to go to Singapore.

So I ate all those hotdogs to get Avengers toys I now am throwing away? How messed up am I anyway?

Leo and I have absolutely no pictures together. We have no tangible proof of our friendship. Come to think of it, he looks like Ramon Bautista. Definitely not hot. I miss chatting with him though. Must bug him as soon as I get the chance. I really want to see him angry in person. Must.

Holy crap! I must thank my most recent ex boyfriend for getting me into collecting Mr. Potato Heads. Funny thing is that they're my most valuable things and they are so light. Speaking of that particular ex, I still have the two Mr. Potato Heads he gave me and the yellow camera. Everything else is gone.

I am finding it easier to throw things away now.

Inna, why do you always have rashes? Text me! Am bored.

How could I like that guy for six years? What if we eventually get together? That would be hilarious. Good thing I am not with any of my ex boyfriends anymore. I think they were all the reachers. Sucks.

I've got an extra Bible here which I dislike. Also got those religious books people give me. I might go to hell if I burn them.

There's a creepy spider down my bra. Ugh.

I really want to ask Jani if her exams are done. So I have kept almost everything that Jani has given me. She went through this phase where all she gave me were breakable objects. I even have these ugly pictures of ourselves when we were in Laguna. How long ago was that? How did we become friends?

I need a guy like Mr. Big from Sex and the City.

King of Anything is playing. Ada and Tea would be singing along to this. Gusto wouldn't care. I freaking miss them. Am really glad I got close to them although I can never curse when I am with them. All their drawings are so precious. I cried when I saw the card they gave me.

Oh, that best friend. Might as well keep all her letters to me. I wonder if we can ever get along again.

I really wanna ask JM if we were on drugs while we were in grade school. For some reason we had a lot of anger in our system. Well, we still might have anger in us but we just hide it well. Crap, he sucks at writing letters! I miss him.

So there are the letters Jhamz gave me! And the dolls. And the stuffed toys. And the random things I still keep 'cause she gave them to me. I wish I had a picture of the time she treated me out to Mang Inasal. And also the time she treated me to McDo after one break up. Holy crap.

Bad idea. Getting asthma.

My life is all in boxes. And I need more plastic boxes. Let's put fragile tape on all the sides of the plastic boxes.

How could people ever like my fanfic? It sucks! I need to tell Keisi it sucks.

Seeing all these old pictures of myself freaks me out. There were times I looked so ugly. There were times I looked human. And still there were times I looked more than human.

I do not want to remember the time I had to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Had some sort of Jewish celebration 'cause maybe my mom is Jewish. Threw out everything connected to it. Just kept the awesome thing Manong Renzo made for me, some cards from my immediate family and close friends. The rest? Into the trash bin.

Found these old religious journals of mine. I was such a holy kid. Yuck.

Am I lucky or what? Did not find any lizards or cockroaches while packing and moving stuff!

Just realized that my parents do not know that I am packing. Holy macaroons!

I think I never really unpacked my stuff which was boxed up to be sent to Singapore because I knew that I would one day  move out of this place again.

How on earth do I get all the dust off my body? I like peeing in the shower. Gross. My only problem with conditioner on my hair is that it's so hard to wash off. I end up leaving most of it there.

HOW COULD I LIKE THAT GUY FOR SIX YEARS?! Oh. Please. Dear. God. (And just in case that guy reads this. . Every time I see you I want the earth to swallow me up because.)

10:02 PM
Let's get loud! Let's get loud! I still have stuff lying around my room! And I have no more plastic boxes. Lots of fragile tape though.

Yuck. Four boxes of trash. Maybe I should burn it tomorrow.

I should paint my room before I leave. Maybe leave a fucked up message on it or something. Must think of something witty.

Have to text message Inna to tell her that I now have rashes also. Must not tell her that I am packing.

None of my friends know that I might be out of this place in a few short weeks.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

So Many Reasons

I weep as I write this.

It has been exactly one week since my mom cut off our WiFi here in the hills. The WiFi just started malfunctioning after one big rain washed the signal away. I really do not get all the technical terms they used when they told me that the WiFi is gone and can never come back. I guess I just blacked out or something.

The day my mom cut off the WiFi was also the day I made her get DSL. She signed all the forms. She filled out an application. She even talked to the person in charge of giving senior citizens information about DSL. I thought our mini-problem was solved. To get DSL I must wait for two weeks for a person to inspect our location and then another week to install the DSL. Basically, I will have no Internet for the whole of my semestral break.

And here I am weeping. I know. You're saying, 'Do something else! Read books! Go out! It's just WiFi.' Let me tell you what I have been doing to waste time. I have read more than twenty books already. I have watched How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, New Girl, The Newsroom and Happy Endings. I have replayed Friends with Benefits so many times that I already memorize their lines.

Yes, I have also finished designing my surprise gift for Jani. Now I just have to head to the store to have it printed and bound. Out of boredom, I helped Leo shoot some video which did not turn out the way I wanted it to. I have printed out all those random typography crap I collect from the Internet. I even taped them to my wall just for the fun of it. I printed some out for my parents and they did not get the sarcasm involved in the quotes.

I am getting terrible headaches from sleeping too much. In one day, I take around four to six naps. My sleeping pattern is all messed up. I do not care. My parents ask me why I keep sleeping. Well, it's so that I don't end up yelling my head off about our current situation. And I am getting fat, too. I take a trip to the kitchen every thirty minutes when I am not sleeping. I take two plates of everything. I eat even if I am not hungry. I eat even though I am full. I just eat because eating takes up time.

Photoshop has been my best friend lately. It has kept me company and I assume will have to keep me company until whenever. My books on fashion and design have heard me crying my head off almost every day. They remind me though to keep my tears to myself and not let anyone see me in my ugliest state. My room must mind the fact that I am going insane because there is no more floor to walk on since it is covered in books, art materials, food, trash and clothes. I have no intention of cleaning it up.

I have come to terms with the fact that the Internet should not be the basis for my happiness. And there are so many people who live without Internet and I am still lucky blah blah blah. But sometimes when you are an only child with two ancient parents who expect you to mind your own business, the Internet becomes your friend and your companion. When all your friends are still in school and you are waiting for their school to end, the Internet is someone to talk to. When you need inspiration, criticism and praise, you go to the Internet to find that and so much more.

The good news came this morning however. My mom just said that the house we have bought is going to be ready in about two to three weeks. Which means that in about two to three weeks we are moving out of the hills which has been my home for twenty years and into that house in the city. 'So why even get DSL if we're moving out anyway?' she reasoned.

I ran up to my room and cried my heart out for so many damn reasons.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Around Four Months Down The Drain

Conscience: 'You must be pretty sad that journalism is over.'
Me: 'Rather sad that Miss de Villa will not be my professor again.'
Conscience: 'You had two semesters with her.'
Me: 'Almost a year with her!'

Although Journalism was harder than Creative Writing, it was such a fun class! All we really had to do was write, write, write and make exactly one video. I guess the reason I totally respect the professor who taught this class was because she never put anyone down. Yes, she had comments and suggestions, but she did not make us feel bad about our mistakes. Another reason she is awesome is because she watches The Newsroom! We did not really have a last class because our room had to be used. Miss de Villa walked in and said, 'Girls, just submit your papers.' I asked her if I would see her next semester and she said, 'Most of you girls will be in my Creative Writing class so see you. Anna, good-bye. I've had you for a year already.' And I was and still am like, 'Noooooo!'  =(

Conscience: 'Don't you have a video of your movement dance?'
Me: 'My friend has it. Am too lazy to ask her to pass it on to me.'
Conscience: 'So you'll just put a picture--'
Me: 'Of a person who made sure that I did not drop out of that class!'

Movement class was almost like ballet! I did enough ballet to know all of the things she was teaching the class. I don't really have the body of a ballerina, but my head knows the dance steps and all those things she made us do. Knowing the dance steps still did not give me enough reason to love movement class. In fact, I used up my two cuts just so that I could stay home and not work my body to death. In the end, practicing paid off because our dance was pretty good. It was not perfect, but let's just say that I am ecstatic that this class is over! Do not remind me that there are two more movement classes I have to take before I graduate.


Conscience: 'And you thought that AVP 1 would be hard!'
Me: 'I really dreaded that class!'
Conscience: 'You did so well! How could you dread it?'
Me: 'Coming up with a design every week was taxing.'

I know how to use Photoshop, but I am not good at it. It did not really help that the professor did not teach the basics. Or maybe she did and I was not listening. Almost every other week we had a project to submit. The professor would give us guidelines, we would have to make whatever she requested and hope for the best. Being the lazy person that I am, I usually just put some crap together and prayed for a good grade. And I did get a good grade! Our last class was yesterday, Monday. I got to the room early and saw my grades. I noticed that my name was highlighted in blue. 'Those whose names are highlighted in blue get an award,' Miss Garcia said. Are you serious? Fine. I knew I was doing something right when I saw my work on the mini exhibit in school.

Conscience: 'Describe your Political Science class.'
Me: 'This was the class I became friends with Char, ate tons of food and rarely listened to the professor.'
Conscience: 'Describe the professor.'
Me: 'We called him Father Coco.' 


Conscience: 'Every Monday and Friday, you ended your day with Oral Communication. How was that?'
Me: 'Frustrating. I had to stop myself from running out of that class.'
Conscience: 'You hated it? You found it boring? You did not like the professor? Or you just really wanted to get out of the class?'
Me: 'It was at a time where all I wanted to do was sleep.'

I could lie and say that I enjoyed this class, but I think that would not be fair. On the first day of Oral Communication, I knew that I would find reasons not to like the class. I do like talking, but it's hard when a professor grades what you are talking about and how you are talking. When I got my grade for midterms I was devastated. It was not that low. It was not that high. It was those pwede na grades that professors give out. I did complain, but when I found out the grades of my classmates, I shut up. There were people who got lower than me. So yesterday, Monday, at around three something in the afternoon, I was begging God to work some miracle and get me a higher grade. I actually smiled at the professor to thank her when she gave me my grade.


Conscience: 'You almost had a problem with Women in Philippine Literature.'
Me: 'I had a problem with it.'
Conscience: 'Care to elaborate?'
Me: 'Maybe in another post.'

This subject just required us to read, read and read. It was a rather easy subject if you followed the instructions of the professor and if you did everything her way. She was strict, but I think people need to have professors who are strict to show that you cannot get away with everything. I almost died when the professor questioned my novel analysis because another girl had the same book I had to review. But I stood my ground and she accepted my paper after some investigation as done. Today was the culminating activity. It was nothing great really and I had to pretend to know some songs in Filipino. The whole class was just clapping for we were so glad this class was over! To pass this class, all one has to do is follow the professor. 

Conscience: 'Feeling happy about your Intro to Communication Theories?'
Me: 'Happy that we had no quizzes, just did easy papers and had a final video? Yes!'
Conscience: 'Did you learn anything at all?'
Me: 'I loved the theories! I even got a pdf of the book the professor used. I plan to read it during the sem break.'

Yes, I am a nerd like that. No one really had to have the book. But theories intrigue me. I sent papa to look for the book everywhere. Mom also searched for the book. I bugged the professor to give me a copy of the pdf she had. After bugging her for two weeks, she gave me a copy. And yes, I plan to read the whole book this sem break just for the heck of it. Intro to Communication Theories was one subject in which all you needed to pass was a brain and ears. Sucks if you've got ears but your brain is missing.