And What Have I Done?

Holy Week is messing up my brain.

I was at the gym this morning. I had bugged my parents to take me there since I wanted to sweat and get rid of my cold. My stupid phone did not have enough battery to play my gym playlist. So I was left to stare at one of the twenty television screens in front of me as I was on the bike. The dumb thing was that most of the televisions were set to the local channels which all dealt with Holy Week. And I was sitting there thinking to myself, 'Does it get any better than this?' Oh yeah! On one television, a man was being crucified to the cross. No, the man was not Jesus. On another television, some guys from Church Simplified were talking about their stations of the cross. And then there was like a subtitle or whatever you wanna call it that appeared on the screen. It said something like 'Jesus' ministry was three years.'


When I got home, I got hold of my Mac and searched Google like crazy. Some sources say that Jesus' ministry was for three years and others say that his ministry was for three and a half years. That's like one term for a US president. Jesus had like one term to do his magic. And that thought really got me thinking. Jesus had only three years or three and a half years yet he gave us our whole life to live for him and all we're doing is wasting it. I did not know if I was supposed to be happy that Christ gave me my whole life to do his work. Or maybe I should feel bad because I have already wasted most of my life doing dumb things that do not bring him glory.


What the heck have I done in my nineteen years of existence? Well, I have danced in church for around six years. I taught little kids how to dance and maybe also taught them to love Christ. I have taught in Sunday School since I was nine years old. I sang songs with the kids, fed them, clothe them and even gave the poor children a bath when needed. I have gone on mission trips to places where Christ is already known and to places where knowing Christ may land you in jail. I have gone on many camps and even led some youth groups. I have prayed. I have read my Bible. I have done all that they teach in church just to make sure that I land a spot in heaven.


And yet I have also lied, cheated, cursed and killed people in my mind. I have been lazy. There are Sundays when I end up sleeping while the pastor is preaching because I have stayed up so late the day before. I end up not really praying because I am too tired, too sleepy and not in the mood. Reading the Bible has become an option due to too much school work, late nights with friends and so many TV shows that I watch. Going to church became a chore for me some time ago. It became my only ticket to heaven. It was my way out from all the other things that I did not do because I was too lazy.

If someone were to look at my life from a human perspective, the person would say, 'Anna is doing well in school. She is trying hard to be a good daughter and aunt. She has some sort of faith. She's beating the odds.' If that person were to describe my life from a religious perspective, the person would say, 'She's a goner!' But I am thankful that Christ has shown me mercy for he would say,  'Have not done much yet. There is still some time to do something about that.' And when I realized that Christ is so merciful, I was moved. Sure, I haven't done much yet for him, but there still is some time to do something.

Holy Week has messed up my brain.