Pambihira

Unbelievable.


They say that good things come to those who wait. It's hard enough to wait for a minute, but it's harder to wait for three years for something that never even took place. Anticipating it happening was the exciting part. Knowing that it would never happen was the painful phase. Hope kept that dream alive that maybe someday it would take place. Faith made that hope grow into desire that pushed it to happen in the fantasy world. 


The good part was that it was almost there. If there was a 'How To Do It' for that particular situation, step one was already accomplished. There was just ninety-nine more steps to go. The problem was that step one was so attractive. Progress didn't seem necessary. Staying there seemed to make everyone happy. It was satisfying. It was fulfilling. It was complete. It was enough. It was good enough. 


It's funny because it never progressed nor digressed in those three years. It was constant. It was sustained. It was unceasing. It just stayed the same. There came a time when it lacked something. It lacked the ninety-nine other things to call it what it should have been called. And since it lacked, it wasn't that good after all. Not good enough to be called good. It wasn't bad. It was lacking.

So what to do? Wait some more? Or just drop the whole idea of it materializing? Based on the statement, if a person waits, something good will happen. Does that mean that three years isn't long enough? Does that mean that a person should just keep on waiting and waiting for something good to fall out of the sky? Willingness to wait is not a problem. 

The question is, does one have assurance that if one waits something really good will fall into place? Or do people just fool themselves by saying that something good will happen so they forget about the time they're wasting waiting for it to come into being? Why can't anything good happen to those who are impatient? Why can't awesome things present themselves to those who have got ants in their pants? Why can't amazing things eventuate to those who are restless?


They say that good things must come to an end. Apparently, this good thing cannot be kept forever. It passes. It's given to a person for a specific time and is taken away so that the cycle starts all over again. Whatever this good thing may be, it has to be passed on from one person to another. Doesn't matter if it's good grades, a nice house, a new car, a friend, a guy or even something as stupid as a pen. If it's good, it won't stay with the person forever.


So why wait for something good to happen when it will just vanish once its time with the person is up? Why wait for this good event to take place when it will just end before the night is over? Why wait for the right person when it will end in tears? Why wait for a friend to apologize if the situation will eventually repeat itself again and again? Why wait for that awesome phone if it will not be awesome next year? 


An endless cycle it is. An endless cycle to trick people into waiting for something they will not really wait for if they knew that it would end too soon. But then since some good does occur for a certain duration of time, it leads people to think that this good is actually attainable. This good thing that lasts only for a certain period of time gives people false hope that maybe if a person tries harder at finding it next time, it just might lead to a permanent state of goodness. 


So what to do about this whole dilemma? Sit down on the toilet seat, apply nail polish, comfort yourself by singing Love Like Woe and flush the toilet a million times so that people think that you aren't crying inside. At the top of your lungs yell, 'Pambihira!' Get out of the toilet. Go into the room where all the riot is. Act like nothing happened. Smile like everything is fine. Laugh like there is no tomorrow. Talk as if you make some sense. Hide the tears because they really were never there to begin with.


And this is what happened last Sunday.